Is this all that I can manage? I am meant to be using my blog as an art blog as well as writing about all other sorts of things. But lately, I don’t feel like I have had any time to create anything.
I feel mostly uninspired and no matter how much art I go looking at to inspire me, I just feel utterly cynical and mostly irate about art.
I had a day in Manchester – which was a great day out – but stumbled into Fred Aldous and left feeling somewhat down about everything. I’ve not been feeling the spark lately and I don’t know if it is something that I can force myself to do anymore. No amount of reading books or trying new things makes me feel fulfilled any more. I just feel really stale – I keep trying new things, but never really feel like I have found myself when it comes to artistic expression. Just drifting. Forever drifting.
I know I just need to soldier on with some things and keep at it. I think a part of me feels down about it all because I’ve not really been managing my time well enough to wedge in much more than an hour at a time to get anything done. I feel like my creative soul isn’t being fed enough anymore and that’s what keeping me from feeling any level of joy.
Like being in Fred Aldous – so many wonderful things to look at and feel inspired by, but all my thoughts drifted towards the, “I’ll never have the time to do this,” which is a horribly negative way to think about everything, but there we are.
I’ll get back onto the art and creative front, because I always do, but right now I am feeling somewhat disheartened about it all.